Departure of Uncle

So many things happened lately....and one of them was the departure of my uncle. Another painful moment in my life. Seeing the tears of his wife which is my fav auntie and my two beloved cousins. Will be there for them whenever they need me. This is the reality of life which we have to go through along our life journey. Be strong and move on. May he rest in peace....

Still thinking about whether I should go on or not. Talked to several people and it seem I can't make up my mind still. Where does the fault lies? I'm willing to change and mend my ways. And try not to be too stubborn, egoistic and temperamental....Sigh...When it comes to friends,I don't seem to have any problems at all but when it comes to life partner, why does it seem I always seem to have a problem? Why is it so? All I want is to have stable relationship....or is it I'm so afraid of commitment and getting to the next serious stage? I keep asking myself what makes me so scared of engagement...Why is it that when the date is near I become more tense? Or should I take things more lightly? I know it's all in my hands now but please do give me support and encouragement. Oh God! Show me the light out please....Do show me the light out of this black hole....I can feel myself withering away....Can someone save me please?

When I got no one, I keep yearning for someone to settle down with but now when the person is here, I'm having cold feet when it's not even marriage yet.