My Scars

Shouldn't treat him the way I did..So bad of me...But please understand that I don't need people to make me feel worse than I already am feeling inside. Think it's best that u stay away from me for now. It's for ur own good. I'm sorry though for all the things I have said to you. I'm devoid of feelings, senseless and I couldn't figure out why. I hate it when I'm called a victim of my past..Really trying hard to heal myself of all those wounds but it's taking a long time. Ok accept the fact I am a victim still. Yes I truly am. I'm afraid to love again or give my heart and soul to him coz I'm afraid the same thing will happen. I'm really torturing him but trust me, I don't have any intention of hurting him at all but I can't control my feelings can I? I can't just force myself to feel better and pretend that I'm feeling ok. There's a wall blocking the path for love to set in. Oh God! Help me! Release me of all these pain I'm feeling. When I heard stories about girls around me getting hurt and cheated, I got tensed up..I do...I feel their pain and I wish that they never got themselves into that fix. Wish that they will wake up from their dream and get their life back on track. The story about that moron who cheated have an impact on me I can't deny. Wish I can give him a tight slap on his face for hurting that innocent girl. And to think he deny everything despite us having evidences of his drama. Please polish up on your acting skills u moronic creature in order to fool people around u...Don't think u can fool just anyone..and I for one thing have enough of ur crap!

Guess it will time to heal the pain of being hurt, cheated of one's feelings and it can be even more painful when you are deeply in love with that person...emotionally and physically involved especially...where your everyday thoughts are full of him and just by being by his side makes u happy and over the moon...Nothing else matters for you except for the person whose name makes ur heartbeat faster and all u can do all day is think of him and for a mere sms u get from him each morning makes u smile and brighten ur day. And u get all excited when he asked you out. But in the long run,he changed and you have to accept the fact that he's making a fool out of you...How painful can it be....The man you love, you treasure, you cherish hurt u and leave u never looking back....Guess I should stop here as my eyes are tearing. Gosh!

Guess for this reason it's tough to love again coz the wound is healing slowly but nevertheless, the scars remain....To whoever who is reading and may find this crap or you may call me stupid for loving a guy like that..trust me...before this happened to me, I ever said the exact same words to someone who went through the same thing before and it happened to me....Sigh...What goes around comes around.....Thats why up till now I always remind myself to watch my mouth whatever I said and comment about others...Coz it happened to me. Saying so many things about that girl for being with a guy she should not be with and in the end, I was trapped in exactly the same scenario...exactly....Which left me scarred for life....