Bad bad wednesday........SIGH

It was a bright and sunny morning.
I was feeling so good and so cheery.
Seemed like a good day with the sun smiling brightly at me.
Yes it was so good until YOU appeared! Damn!
Sigh....and caused a drama there at 4th floor!
And with the beginning of a bright day, it all turned out otherwise.
I just can't seem to sleep with so many things running through my mind.

The day everything went wrong

Just when I thought everything seems to go on smoothy, I received that
one call which ignites my utmost anger! Yeah!
And my volcano erupted again! Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!
I keep telling myself to stay calm despite it all.

Went out with someone from work.
Had a pretty nice evening I must say.
I'm feeling so good throughout the evening.
Thanks for the time and it sure does cheer me up dear friend.

Things seems to be fine

Things are settled. We met and talked things out.
Being there at Esplanade everything seems peaceful.
And I wish it will go on this way.

Back from "Holiday"

Finally came back home today after the "holiday".
Was not home since last friday night. Yippeeee!!!!
Fun spending it together with my beloved honey.
Appreciate your time spent with me dearest sweetheart.
Love you babe....you been there for me in good and bad times.
And we simply enjoyed our foot reflexology yesterday. Ouch! Ouch!!!!
So when shall we do it again love? What say u?

Still the same kind of feeling

Finally we met yesterday......Yeah!!!!
Was at office when he called. Heartbeat beating fast.....Phew!!!!!!
And he was waiting for me right at my office carpark.
He's driving now and it's my very first time ever to sit in his brand new car. Yeah!
At first it's kinda awkward for both of us after so long.
But we managed to break the ice and talked as per normal.
Despite me having so much bloody problems, he made me forget everything with
his jokes and all. Just simply so sweet of him lah.
It's not right for me to tell him my personal problems I know that.
Thanks for your concern dear friend but rest assured I can still handle everything.
Though it's a short meeting due to certain reasons, I'm glad that at last......
At last, we finally have this golden opportunity to meet up face to face.

So how am I feeling right now? Wish you can listen to my heartbeat. *wink*
I can laugh and smile thanks to all the company I'm getting.
And I can't wait for this weekend excitement.

To hear her cry is heartbreaking.
U know how much I love you...I wish you understand what I'm going thru.
I simply don't enjoy making a big hoo haa of everything.
For your info, I don't enjoy it at all!
Am I not supposed to be stress abt what happened?
It concerns my future......my life happiness.

Body at work but mind doesn't seems to

Had difficulty waking up this morning due to the late night yesterday.
Pretty fun day yesterday...Thanks for the great company dear!
Went for donuts at Raffles City then head on to Esplanade for the ayam....hehe....
After which, went to Marina Square to chill.....as in really chill.....
Felt good talking it out....talked everything out...
And thanks for the great listening ear you gave me....Appreciate it so much! :-)

Was feeling better today actually but then after all the talk which sucks my energy,
I felt so miserable. What's up with all this shit? Damn him lah!
I regret for making this stupid choice right from the very first time. Sigh....
I feel like breaking away from everything......Someone help me please...
Oklah got to go as someone is waiting for me.....*wink*

Super fun day turns blue

Took leave today. Was not in the mood for work.
But then I toally enjoyed myself today.
Went somewhere to have real fun! Super fun!
I enjoyed myself to the max today....Felt so so happy.
Totally forgot about everything that has happened. Yeah!
Though its temporary, but then its really worth it.
Worth taking leave and worth spending my money though I getting so broke! Hehe!
It's an escapade to a world of real fun and enjoyment! Yippeeeee!!!!!

But at night, the worst happened. Sigh.
What will be the end of it all? Sigh............

What should I say this time

I don't even know how to start updating this blog of mine.
It's been full of upsetting stories lately and never seems to stop. Sigh....
And now this happened. What else coming may I know? What else?
It causes misunderstanding between me and siblings! Simply uncalled for!
What's going to be the end of it? What's going to be the end of this journey I'm leading?
I really don't know what else to say this time coz I'm really at a lost for words.
Am I simply so heartless and evil for being so angry over all these?
Or should you stop doing whatever you are doing???
JUST STOP YOUR DAMN FOOLISHNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not in the mood for work today.
Actually thought of taking leave and run to someone for comfort.
Someone who cares, who is always ready to listen to my neverending stories.

I'm sorry to my loved ones whom I have hurt unintentionally.
How can I ever distrusts my own flesh and blood?
How can you ever think I distrusts you?
I love u all more than anything else in the world.
It's so upsetting......

I have cried enough....and I'm tired.
All I can do is hope that things will get better.

Miserable Day

It's only today I know about everything.
Being kept in the dark is something I hate mosts.
You are really such a disappointment to me. Sigh....

Met beloved gerlfriend and spent time with her till nearly 5 am.
Just being with her comforts me....it is really comforting.
What am I ever gonna do if she decides to leave Singapore?
Though it's so sad, I still will give her my utmost support.
And wishing her the best of luck in her career embarkment.
Should stop now since my eyes getting teary. Sigh....

My heart speaks

Spending time with close gerlsfriends......
Laughing my head off when the whole time my heart is crying....
There ain't no tears coming from my eyes....no more....
But this heart still in pain....not at ease.....
I can't answer anymore questions.
Coz I got no answers for it all.....No answers at all....
All I know the pain is still in me.....sigh......
I know its foolish of me....stupid of me.....
Naive of me....whatever lah......
U don't have to say anything behind my back about me.
Coz I know exactly what's going on.....
I have a clear picture now of everything....I do!
But still it doesn't stop this heartache.....
In fact it worsen.....

Show me the light

I tell myself time and again to calm down.
Been trying my best to stay compose at work today.
The whole time my heart feeling not at ease.
Its breaking into pieces.....
I actually teared while working without others realising.
My heart is feeling the pain....its so much more painful today....
Because of you, it actually crush and burnt.
Whatever have I done which makes it impossible for me to let go of everything...
I'm tearing but I tried my best to stop the tears from flowing....
My heart bleeds.....it bleeds again and again......

Ya Allah...berikan aku petunjukmu.....
Berikan aku kekuatan untuk menempuhi dugaan ini.....
Sesungguhnya kau yang Maha mengetahui.....

In DENIAL

The sudden call.....and I talked as per normal.
Asking for a meet up and it seems like he's practically begging me. Sigh!
I tell myself it's ok to talk....since there's no harm in it.
But then I think it's not working for me.
This method just doesn't work for me.
Sigh.....The problems he's facing right now.
Begging for my companion and all.
I know it's none of my business but then why do I
give a damn? WHY? WHY? WHY?
I keep asking myself this question again and again.
I don't mind being there for friends with problems.
And I know how it feels when you need someone to just listen
to your whining...just being there and listen.
I can understand how it feels....but then if he's the person then
I think I'm not really up for it. I got to go......Sigh....