The beginning of Year 2008

It's just a change in the number from 7 to 8.
A new year.....new beginning.......
At this point of time, I can barely understand myself....
Whatever is going in my brains right now....for I can't think at all.
I just feel like doing whatever I feel like doing.
And is it ever true I'm in denial with what I actually want in life?
I can't say much but there's a whole lot of truth in it whereby
I'm very much in conflict with my inner thoughts and emotions.
I learnt a lot over the years....downfall and all.
Heartbreak, disappointment.....more and more in fact.
Going into a something that was forbidden in the very first place.
And it knocked me down hard. I came stumbling down.
Picked myself up back,get over it and move on in life.
Am I actually enjoying all of it as well?
More of these thrilling rides tempting me now but then again,
I'm in denial with myself! And yeah its the whole truth.
Keep avoiding it all until it came to a point, I burst!
Keep wanting more of everything....hell man!
Emotions being on the roller coaster ride.
After a whole thrilling journey came to an end, emptiness will
succumb me and the whole process starts all over again.
When will it all end then? What the F!
I find it a bore to get on with rightful things.
I think I deserve to be shot in the head. Sigh.....