Been in a daze

Work been hectic lately draining the energy out of me.
Coming back to work on weekends certainly is SHITTY!
Wonder what's up with that man in the big room?
Maybe he just needs a damn good ****.

What have I been thinking lately? Sigh.......
What I felt is beyond conversation, felt melancholy and dizzy with
wanting something completely out of reach.
Can I ever reach out to it? It's always been something temporary.
The excitement eventually invariably faded and gone.
Temporary happiness and satisfaction. Is that what I really want?
A temporary hidden agenda which thrills me to my very soul.
In a small breathless voice, I keep telling myself, "I wanna forget everything".
I wanna start life anew, afresh and tame. Yes I do.
But it seems to me I'm pretending when I do things like that.
I avoid being in contact with several human beings.
I know I can actually fight for what I want right from the start.
Even when things happened in the past.
But it's going to break several people's heart.
It's gonna cause lots of chaos and I can't bear to do all that.
It's going to break me into pieces.
And who knows the magic will all end once it happened.
I don't want that. I rather stay put to where I stand now.
I guess I got to put it all aside and just move on.

I'm missing lots of people right now.
My sweethearts, my cuzzies, my family too not sure why.
My other half who seems like a stranger to me now.
Our birthday is coming soon love......
I miss you, your craziness, your warmth and your love.
And several other people.
Till then, Adios!